I Know You Care
by rileyiscrazy
Summary: Life can never be perfect. It's always gonna be about being strong enough to accept things and having the guts to move on. Bella is lost and alone. She cuts herself because she thinks it's the only way to kill the pain she feels inside. / My first story. Please give it a chance.
1. Chapter 1

**BPOV**

My depression started when I was twelve when my parents split up and I really had a hard time accepting that. Eventually, I started cutting myself because the physical pain was so much better than the pain I felt inside. Self harming was my escape. My dad was the one who left us so I had to live with my mom who didn't care about me and who blames me for being the reason my dad left. I could not bare it so I ran away with a backpack full of clothes and things I needed most.

I was only fifteen and I knew it was stupid of me but staying with her would only lead to killing myself. I didn't know where to go and I couldn't go to my friends house because they wouldn't understand so I slept on the streets instead. I was running out of money and I didn't eat for weeks. My mom didn't even try finding me. I wanted to die but I knew it wasn't the best decision at the moment so I tried finding a job. I just needed a place to rest. I worked as a waitress in a diner and I slept in one of the waitress's apartment. Rosalie's twenty-three and she's really nice. Things were sort of okay but the sad thing is I really had no one and that made my depression worst day by day.

I hated my life. I hated it with a burning passion. Going back to my hometown was not an option. My only choice was to stay here or kill myself. I guess a part of me already died, the happy eleven year old girl who smiled every day. She's gone. I was now the new Bella who had no life. I'm not happy. I don't think I'll ever be happy again.


	2. Chapter 2

**BPOV**

Serving food and drinks all day and night was starting to get boring but this was my life now and I had to deal with it. Some people would tip me sometimes and that would make my day a little less miserable. Sometimes, the diner would be filled with a bunch of high school students eating and laughing together and I get jealous. I wanted my life to be like that but instead I'm stuck here.

After a busy day at the diner, it was closing time again. Rosalie offered if I wanted to have drinks with her in a bar tonight because being a waitress was really depressing and she said we both needed a little fun. That's when I decided to be honest with her, "I'm fifteen." I told her and she looked at me as if I just told a lie. "You're shitting me." She says and I told her my story. She didn't judge me or anything and I was thankful for that.

She was smoking when we were on our way to the apartment and I asked if I could have one. She asked if I was sure and I said yes. "I started smoking when I was your age, kid. I was curious of what it felt like. My mom used to smoke all the time so when she died, smoking was my only reminder of her. It almost feels like as if she's here smoking with me." Rose smiled at her words and she gives me a cigarette. She lit it before teaching me how to smoke. I was always a fast learner so minutes later, I already knew how and it _really_ felt good. This is definitely _not_ the last time I'm gonna smoke.


	3. Chapter 3

**BPOV**

It was halloween. Everyone had to wear costumes in the diner. I didn't have a costume. Rose let me borrow her clothes though and she put on some make up on me and I'm done. It was fun seeing the little kids all dressed up. They looked so cute. I just hated the fact that the skirt I was wearing was making me uncomfortable because it's really short and I didn't like it when people stare at me.

I wanted to go home so around 8:30 pm, I lied that I was feeling sick and I needed to go home. I told Rose and she said she won't be home until tomorrow because she'll sleep at her friend's house. That made me sad but it's her life so she gets to decide whatever she wants.

I walked home even though it was freezing cold. I reached the building and ran up the stairs because the elevator wasn't working and that's when I realized, I did not fucking bring my keys with me this morning. Rose has the extra key but I could not go back to the diner and freeze to death. I cursed and told myself that I was stupid.

Standing in front of the door of my old apartment was weird so I sat down instead and I could feel the coldness in my legs and it sucked. I'm wearing a tank top and a short freaking shirt for fuck's sake. I knew I should have brought my hoodie with me. All I have is my box of cigarettes and a lighter. It's been months since I first smoked and now I can't seem to stop. I lit one and took a long drag before closing my eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

**BPOV**

I was already on my 3rd stick when a guy who apparently lived next door went to sit beside me. "Can I have a cigarette?" He asked and I gave him the box. He looked at my pale legs and the scars on them before he took one and put it in his mouth before lighting it with his own lighter. I stare at him. He was attractive, a bit lanky, not bulky at all, with untidy, bronze-colored hair. He also had green eyes. He was mesmerizing. He winked at me before smirking cockily. I rolled my eyes at him.

"The name's Edward." He said, smiling. "Does it look like I care?" I asked him and he laughs, "I guess not. What are you doing out here by the way?" I told him the reason. "Well that sucks." "I know." "Thanks for the cigarette, would you like to stay the night in my apartment?" He asked, standing up. He held his hand in front of me, expecting me to hold it and let him help me stand. I ignored it. "No thanks. I don't even know you." "I don't know you as well. I'm just being polite. Imagine staying here in this empty hallway for the night. You're going to be so cold," I continued to ignore him.

He finally went inside but then minutes later, he was out again holding a hoodie and a blanket. He gave it to me. He was going to say something but he looked at my forearms and the cuts for a really long time and I wanted to hide. I don't feel comfortable when people stare at it. I crossed my arm over my chest instead.

"Here. I don't want you to be cold or sick so yeah, if you ever change your mind. My door is open. You can go in anytime, alright? Goodnight." I didn't get the chance to say thank you because he went inside as quickly as possible. I did not know what to think at the moment so after my last stick, I wore the hoodie and wrapped the blanket around me.


	5. Chapter 5

**BPOV**

He was right, I am freezing. The hoodie and the blanket wasn't enough. The floor was so cold and it was impossible to sleep. Plus, the lights are on and it's very irritating. I didn't know what time it was but I had no choice but to change my mind and go inside his apartment. He said so earlier that I could come in anytime and this is _the_ time.

I stood up and _ugh, _everything hurts. I opened the door and it was dark inside, I felt awful because I'm in a stranger's apartment and he may be asleep. This isn't right. His apartment wasn't small and big. It was just the right size. Once you get in, there's the living room with two couches, a coffee table and a flat screen TV. The kitchen was in the right and there's three rooms and one of it is a bathroom. I place the blanket on the coach and realize I had to pee so I went to the toilet. I washed my face with the cold water because I kinda needed it.

"Jasper? Could you hurry up, please? I have to pee!" I hear Edward say sleepily. Jasper? _Oh my god. I want to hide somewhere! Shit, I can't face him! Kill me now. What would he say? Will he get mad? He just said I could come in! Now I'm using his bathroom like I fucking own it. What the fuck is wrong with me?!_

_Fuck, I have no choice. _I open the door slowly and holy cow! Edward is only wearing his boxers. My eyes immediately went to his..._you know. _I didn't realize how long I looked but when I looked up, he was smirking cockily. _Oh, I'm fucked._


End file.
